Alter Ego

Screenshot 2015-01-09 at 11.02.07

It is a little strange having an alter ego. When I sit at my computer I am Rebecca Black wannabe writer and fledgling blogger. The rest of the time I am your average mother of two with another name, doing the school run, building train sets and wiping snotty noses. There is such a dichotomy between the two that I often find myself trying not to laugh as I walk down the street to fetch my kids from school.

What would people think if they knew?

I’m not quite ready to find that out, but as Rebecca I feel free to write and say whatever I want to. This is a new experience for me. I have constrained myself over the years worrying what my family and friends would think of the things that I’ve wanted to do.

I’ve done some of those things but never told. I have secrets held very tightly to my chest. It is not always a comfortable weight, they feel heavy and every once in a while I struggle to hold onto them. They are secrets not because I regret the things I have done but because I fear censor and judgement from some of the people that I love. However, with the advent of my alter ego I am slowly but surely letting them go and some days I think I might float a little. Something always drags me back down to earth, but now I’ve experienced that feeling I won’t let it go.

I think at 38 years of age I am finally ready to say, “Sod it!”

It feels good.

 

 

12 thoughts on “Alter Ego

  1. Oh honey, we are two peas in a pod. I used to feel the same way – sometimes I still do. It’s freeing being Kayla because Kayla says what she thinks, does what she wants, and is who she is. If you’re anything like me, eventually, you’ll find that you prefer this side of yourself more than the everyday-vanilla side. 😀

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    • Lol! Yeah, that’s already becoming apparent. Me and my bloke stopped and laughed part way through a conversation recently cos we were talking about a sex scene I was writing and the finer points of how to make the male character come!!! It felt totally natural but we both realised how different our conversations have become in the past few months. It’s awesome. He’s awesome.

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  2. The only reason I started blogging was so that I can take the filters away. I’m new to this at the moment, I needed a place to vent…without judgement. Currently, my best friend is the only one that knows about me starting a blog. I’m still a little nervous though, as a mother of 3 and a wife of 15yrs, I kinda feel like I’m keeping a dark secret. Oh well, a girl is entitled to at least one secret, right! I look forward to reading your material.

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    • Sounds like we have similar circumstances. There’s a certain amount of nerves involved but I’m more excited than anything. I only started this blog a few weeks ago. I’ve found the more I write the easier it gets. Keep going and I’ll look out for your stuff.

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  3. This is a conversation we have flirted with; but I think you are the female me. There is even only one year between us. Spooky. I must confess though; I suspect my boobs are hairier than yours! Its always great to read what you write, so loping forward to more!

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