It is a little strange having an alter ego. When I sit at my computer I am Rebecca Black wannabe writer and fledgling blogger. The rest of the time I am your average mother of two with another name, doing the school run, building train sets and wiping snotty noses. There is such a dichotomy between the two that I often find myself trying not to laugh as I walk down the street to fetch my kids from school.
What would people think if they knew?
I’m not quite ready to find that out, but as Rebecca I feel free to write and say whatever I want to. This is a new experience for me. I have constrained myself over the years worrying what my family and friends would think of the things that I’ve wanted to do.
I’ve done some of those things but never told. I have secrets held very tightly to my chest. It is not always a comfortable weight, they feel heavy and every once in a while I struggle to hold onto them. They are secrets not because I regret the things I have done but because I fear censor and judgement from some of the people that I love. However, with the advent of my alter ego I am slowly but surely letting them go and some days I think I might float a little. Something always drags me back down to earth, but now I’ve experienced that feeling I won’t let it go.
I think at 38 years of age I am finally ready to say, “Sod it!”
It feels good.